December 2010. Few more days to 2011

2010 was good to me. And it still is as days pass by, even now.

Words really are not enough for me to explain or reiterate the many things 2010 has brought me. I only have one word: JOYFUL.

It's a joyful year. Through thick and thin, the Lord has been and always is faithful. When you become content with who you are and whatever it is you have, you consider yourself blessed, because you're an owner of something you know which can never be bought.

My life have had its ups and downs this year. Some I consider challenges which made me stronger and tougher, while many of them left me thanking God, honoring Him because He has never forsaken me. Ever.

I think I have given up a lot of things this year, too. But no regrets, because upon giving up one thing came another blessing, one after another. I know for a fact that there are certain things you can't bring with you your whole life. But there are a lot more which, when you least expect them, comes right in front of you. You just have to ask God for wisdom with which to choose... =)

Now it's December 24th of this wonderful year of 2010. Noche Buena with the whole family tonight. I'm looking forward to another year full of blessings and breakthroughs. Despite the down times this year has brought, I know for myself that there's just so much I am thankful for.

I am glad I am still alive.
I am happy that the people i truly love are still in my life right now.
I'm happy that a lot came, too. And that lot I also kept longer.
I pray and believe that the year 2011 will be more prosperous, blissful, blessed and a lot more joyful.

"We love Him because He first loved us." -1 John 4:19

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
Praying for abundant blessings to come upon all your lives, not just this holiday season, but all the days of your lives.

xxo,
Love Ng =)

080410. PROVEN: When God takes something away, He prepares, molds, and gives something better.

It has been after many, many years that I, again, feared would lose something so valuable in my life.

What triggered the fear was the probability that it can be taken away from me anytime no matter how hard I try to keep it.

It was in my early years that I have come to understand and grasp the fact that everything I have is not mine but His; and that if He takes something away, there has got to be something good, better, and greater (BEST!) for me in the future.

I admit, I have lost so many things, even valuable people in the past. I will never forget the day Doni died. I had my heart broken to have lost a very good friend, a man of God. It was the first time I lost someone really close to my heart, and trust me, it isn't the greatest feeling in the world. When my Mom lost her car, her heart broke, and so did mine. It was one of her most priced possessions. My Mom loved driving to the point where she brought me to Splash Island without her license because I was in tantrums. I was a kid, then, so hardheaded haha! When we lost the house I lived in my entire life, the whole family had our hopes down.

Little did I know, we were to be blessed with a new house, which, not after a long time was finally called HOME.

I realized, every single thing taken away from us are merely physical things, plain structures, that if we didn't handle with care could really be taken away from us any minute. Our house can be taken away by fire, our car by almost anyone interested in it.

But there's one person powerful enough to take away anything when He wants to. And thats our God. But when he took away all of those from us, I trust that He was preparing something better. And yes He did, that was because I asked, and I received. <3>Uuuuuuy, give away na o! Hahaha!

After many years, I came across a line saying, "God wont give you something you cant endure."
And I said to myself, you should have known that all your life.

Then I reassessed myself and asked how faithful God is. I know He is and will always be. Then I asked myself again, "Now why are you in doubt? You should be confident that God has a pleasing and perfect will for you." That day was I only able to re-establish my faith and let God do the pruning all the more.

And it is true that patience has a sweet fruit.

I always put in mind that God does not work only during your down times; He works all the time, in all aspects, in every area of our lives.

If what you're asking for is still left hanging, and youre also left hanging, and you feel like God didnt really hear or answer what you've prayed/asked for, you might wanna think again. Because God hears every single thing every single person asks for. It's like he has one ear for each individual in this world. Isn't He great? =)

And yes, sabi ko nga, Patience has a sweet fruit.

If you have something very valuable in your hands right now, handle it with care. Love it with all your heart, and love genuinely. Love because you love, even though sometimes you cannot be loved in return.

In my case, I almost lost something. I know every day, I am on the battlefield. And I have my own battles. While some battles I know are not meant to be won, some are worth fighting for. But as I said in my wall post days ago, I am just glad I did. =)

But I am fully aware that if I try to keep something, there will be constant hurtings, too. Why? Because God could always test me, it will always be a test of faith. A test of character. And I think CHANGE ISNT THE ONLY THING CONSTANT, HURT WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT ALSO. Because everything we have in our hands is God's, not ours. He can take it all away whenever He wants. And we would get hurt. I know I will. But I know I have a God who is willing to pick me up and cuddle me if I get hurt. And I will always be a precious baby to Him.

Oh, how amazing it is to live everyday knowing you have an awesome Father to praise!

If you have the willingness to keep something you really want and love, you'll fight for it whatever the cost.

And it says in

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Have faith! That every time you lose something that you love and you feel like you can never get them back/have another thing as valuable and as precious again, God is just pruning you.

He will always give you whats best for you.

Just like what He did in my life.

If theres anything, God will give you the best. And if he already thinks thats wahst best for you, that He wont take away. =)

<3

I dont really like posting stuff such as these, but it was too true I couldnt just keep it as storage.

If ever a girl steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him....
Because no good man can ever be stolen unless he wants to....

MARVELING

God is so good.

He really works for the good of those who believe Him.

And every single day I just wanna marvel on how great He is in my life.

I will always remember how one mighty prayer changed everything.

I know one thing: I trust him all the more.

If He has done a magnificent transformation in my life today, He will do a mightier one tomorrow ;)

11 February 2010 post

Right now, right this very minute, this very second, the last thing I really wanna see...

... is your face.

I don't know why.

It sucks not having to tell anybody about you.

I don't care who gets to read this; whether they assume or not, I don't care. (Go ahead, assume all you want, he's not the same person y'all are thinking about. That's so 3 months ago. And that was too terrible to even remember.. thats but plain history now.)

It's just.. ugh, it feels nauseating.

020610: KUNDIMAN tralalalaaaa..

This song of Silent Sanctuary has been going on for hours now....

I am thoroughly blaming the person who told me about this one... One, it's not funny anymore. Two, this makes me go melodramatic. TOO melodramatic. And three, last but not the least, I feel good hearing the lyrics being sung.

Anyway....
I was inspired by D. Bonifacio's recent note about his brother's marriage. What he heard was true. I mean the part where he went on with "I heard many hearts were broken that day" That's hilarious! My mom saw the wedding coverage, and she ends up crying. I was kind of expecting the same thing to happen. I mean who wouldn't cry? I know I did! My mom just cries awfully lot than me. She loves wedding videos too much sometimes.

And because it's kinda off topic not to talk about the title I wrote up there, I just want to imagine about it playing while I'm walking towards my husband-to-be. TRALALALAAAA. ;p Not that it's baduy, it's cool you know! I mean, have you tried listening to the song??? Sa reception kaya? haha! ;) I don't know if I would still remember this song by the time God tells me to marry. Who knows? I might end up not marrying at all! Hahaha!

What in the world am I saying? (Thinking... asking myself what I just ate that made me think this way.. {Psh, weird)

UPDATE
It’s been days and I wanna believe that I think I’m doing great, but in the back of my mind I keep on thinking about that something which only two people know right now, I only told them both last night (you guys know who you are) and they know that it’s bothering me. To those who can’t follow, I know, I shouldn’t be writing something you wouldn’t be able understand, it’s a little something personal. AND YES, that part sads me. And NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT HEART MATTERS. Shoo! Haha! I know how some of you think. Don't give me that look, 'cause, engkkkk, you're wrong. Just please please include me in your prayers.

WHAT MORE?

I know it's been 2 months since New Year, and I haven't really literally thanked everyone face to face. Technically, I don't really get to greet a lot of people except my circle whom I'm really really close to. I don't usually do a great job in thanking one by one cause I end up forgetting other people so I am thanking everyone who's currently reading this, as a group, so I know I won't miss out on anyone. :-)

Oh and yeah, the reason why I let the song play on and on is really because I'm almost going to lose my mind. I couldn't find the thesis paper Greg just made few weeks ago. I must've had my handout mixed up but I know it's here somewhere. But if I don't find it... TIME WILL STILL BE RUNNING OUT AND I'D END UP AWAKE FOR 48 HOURS to work on our Conceptual Framework.

AND SO?

...and because I am the only person/girl/child? (ugh, when I say that I feel sucha baby), what I meant is I'm the only one around here who still goes to school around here, I wouldn't be able to blame anyone if I really lost those papers (like what I usually do when I lose something. Haha. So bad. But I have a point sometimes though LOL) because apparently I would be the only person who knows where I'd be able to find things, those were my stuff in the first place.

There's only one thing I'm sure of. That if I REALLY, LITERALLY, TECHNICALLY, 100%-ly lost that paper.. I AM IN BIG TROUBLE.

And since I'm already turning.. uhh.. a year older than my age NOW haha, in 6 month's time, I've kind of (and still trying) to live up to Mom's expectations about handling more responsibility here now more than ever and how it's taking it's toll on me sometimes. This is why I am praying badly for a sister, or maybe a brother. But that's really just impossible.

Or even a new pup just so Mom would have someone else to put her attention to.

To sum it all up..

What do you think of Kundiman? (Still have no idea? Why don't you try listening to it, download it, it's by Silent Sanctuary. If you don't have Limewire or Frostwire, or whatever browsers ever existing today, I'm sorry I only know 2 of them and yes I'm familiar that it's friends with different kind of viruses, try Youtube-ing or Imeem-ing hahaha!) I know someone who's so hooked up on it, he actually breathes 'em already hahaha! And to you, I don't need your comments and violent reactions right now. ;D SHOO! Haha!

Okay, irrelevant haha!

All i know is that tomorrow is going to be a busy day; I will try to be home by 2PM after the service, work on the conceptual framework again, live humbly, breathe normally, try not be too stressed out, avoid panicking, definitely avoid cramming, and because all of those mentioned a forehand feels worse, I will try to remember to forget...

P.S. The people I had tagged here may or may not know everything, some I know doesn't but I still tagged anyways. Just so you know, I'm still alive, (Hi there, yoohoo!) and that something interesting is still happening in my life as of this very moment. ;)

JUNE 2009: Mga hinanakit sa hangin

Paulit-ulit.

Ngunit wala ni isang bakas ng pagod sa aking mukha. Naniwalang sa buong apat na taon, nanatiling panatag ang kalooban; nakinig, nagparaya, nagmahal. Nakakabulag ang mundo kung saan nag-uumapaw ang tindi ng tiwala sa sarili.

Sumobra nga pala ako.

Naisip kong “maghintay pa nang kaunti” ngunit walang nangyari.

Maghintay pa “hangga’t maayos ang lahat." Wala ulit.

Maghintay “hangga’t kaya pa.”

Hanggang saan ako dadalhin ng paghihintay na maayos ang isang bagay na ako lang ang nagnais? Ako lang; tumakbo nang paikot-ikot sa landas na sabay naming nilalakad noon. At ngayon, kailangan ko nang tumakbo.

Hindi na kami patas.

“Minsan hindi kailangan ipangalandakan na malungkot at nahihirapan. Kasi kahit sabihin pa nang sabihin, pero wala namang ginagawang paraan para mapagaan, pinalalala mo lang.”

Siya ako noon. Sino na ako ngayon?

Ako. Marahan ko nang naitapon ang lahat ng hinanakit na yan sa hangin. Napunan ko na ng luha ang dagat. Nasigawan ko na ang mundo. Natingnan ko na ang sarili ko sa salamin at nakita ang malayo kong identitad sa taong nakagisnan kong maging; pinilit kong maging.

Hindi ako yon. At lalong hindi pala ako ganon.

Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal ay natututo sa huli. Minsan mas pinipili nilang uliting ang parehas na drama ng buhay. Ngunit hindi ako isa sa kanila. Ayoko na.

Alam kong balang araw, di ko na kailangang humabol pa at masaktan. Balang araw, may sasabay sakin sa paglalakad. At unti-unti naming sasabayan ang magandang takbo ng buhay.

:’)