On mourning and Whitney's passing

#DearWhitney

I was just singing "Run To You" last Friday w/o anything exactly in mind. Then now, you're gone. And you're gone fast. But wherever you are now, we know that you're at peace. I will forever remember your songs. You're one of those who inspired me to sing.

When I heard you're songs and album rates were plummeting, I didn't think of you nor your songs any less. It's the same you, with the same voice, and the same love for your music.

I will always remember you. And your songs will forever be here in my heart.

Goodbye Whitney.

You will never be forgotten.

Love,

Me

Of Positivism and Good Changes In Life

I therefore conclude that this has been the most productive I've ever been in my life ☺

Like I always say, life's always been good. If it's not good, I would like to believe it still is. I want life to treat me just like how wonderful I treat it everyday.

For a little background, I was blessed with working with wonderful people and these people have taught me how to climb a little more on my very own little mountain. I didn't consider myself one of the greatest students back in college nor the worse there was. I was somewhere there in the middle, with a thoroughly joyful life, and huge dreams.

Now that I am finally out of my comfort zone and totally discovering the world, I still have God to thank. For unending bliss on all areas of life, family, life, love, faith.... It's always so overwhelming that joy with the Lord; and this I will always bring wherever I go. Whether it be family, friends, and workplace. It's always a joy to see people come together in one faith.

I'm just so happy to be part of it every single day.

POSITIVISM!

XOXO

July 1st thoughts

You get out of life what you put into it. Be the best you can be. Give everyday your best shot. Remember, you can always be the best YOU. Because you’re created to be someone no one else can ever be.

— Love Ng 070111 ☺♥

Ladies are meant to be pursued and isn't created to be easy

You don't have to be among Christian single (or not) women to hear one common refrain: "We want to be pursued!"

Today a lot of people would argue that women enjoy their freedom to pursue men if they choose to and make the first move on whoever she likes while some would applaud her for the gutsy behavior.

But the truth is, (Listen MEN!) ladies are meant to be wooed, pursued or won.

According to writer AJ Kiesling, "There’s something very attractive about being pursued with intent." And it's true. There is nothing more mature than a man who knows what he's created for to do and that is, to know clearly his responsibility.

Ladies grow up treated with a little more attention because first and foremost, we are more sensitive. We laugh at the corniest jokes and cry at almost every possible chick flick and dramatic movies. We love being dolled up, made up and being treated like princesses. Tell me a woman who doesn't. I think the big part of what attracts us ladies is that a man actually pursue us and make his interests for us known.

One of our pastors in church once said, "Loving her privately is not enough. You have to tell the whole world about it."

On the otherhand, why do women say guys are hard to read is a better question.

Some guys in this generation enter relationships for a wrong reason. Take note: I said some, not ALL. And because some men (boys, really) don't tell a woman about his past a lot especially those who have already entered a relationship but it didn't work out, some women don't really have an idea about this guy pursuing her. This is one of the reasons why SOME of the ladies make it harder for guys just so they'd know their limits, how long they could wait and still pursue her while waiting for her.

Some men find it hard to wait, too. While this means a lot to women, it sometimes causes a few men to surrender. I understand that men wants one thing clear: that their intentions are understood and/or if the ends would meet. While this remains a question for them, some ladies do not "tell all." Instead, ladies would like to leave a little mystery for guys, which is another thing some guys don't really understand.

And THAT isn't enough to say ladies are hard to read. Just because some ladies are hard to pursue and just because they tend to not really make men feel like their efforts are appreciated means they are hard to read. Remember that the ladies need to be assured that men can wait for them whatever the circumstance would be. Same thing when they're both in a relationship.

As for me, I wouldn't want my special someone to only pursue me when we're already together. But it is a man's job to pursue someone he loves each and everyday. And I would love that.

It takes a real man to know all these. Pursue her. And when you do, "You can’t fake it. You can never fake how much you love her. If she feels you are faking it – you get the opposite result."

Conan O’Brien's 2011 Dartmouth College Commencement Address

To this day, I still don’t understand exactly what happened. But I have never had more fun, been more challenged, and (this is important), had more conviction about what I was doing. How could this be true? Well, it’s simple. There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going. At Harvard, five different guys in my class told me they would one day be president of the United States. Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs. The other one’s briefly hosted Blues Clues before dying senselessly at yet another motel shoot-out. Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42. One’s dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course.

But the point is this: It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy. But if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention.

No specific job or career goal defines me and it should not define you. In 2000, I told graduates to not be afraid to fail. And I still believe that. But today I tell you, whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity. And with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

Blogging hiatus on my body clock.... STOPS.

Today I read one of my colleague's nicest works (which I reposted down there before this blog) and I was reminded about how long I have not written anything.

When I made this blog for public I was sure of one thing; I wanted to write so I could at least share through my writings my true identity and who I really am. A lot of people don't know that I've been writing long before I started singing so I wanted to continue this while pursuing the other things that I love. But because I just came back merely through another person's work which amazed me, I still am thinking about what I should be writing now that I just returned.

I have nothing fancy to share except the fact that I'm officially out of college, graduated, (and looking for a job again after what it feels like not being able to land in 2 jobs I applied for the past 2 months) and still enjoying my youth.

On the other side of the coin, nothing fancy with me and my 1 year and 3 month-boyfriend, Abe, only right now I think we're getting a lot stronger than we've ever been. Less fights and buckets and buckets of patience. Plus, it helped me a lot to go through all the stuff piling on in my life knowing that his support for me is unwavering. He adds up to my family and my real friends whom I trust. But since everyone's busy with everything going on in their own lives, I usually have my Mom and him with me every single day. (Plus the friends I'm talking about has either WORK or STUDIES going on.

But thank God for Sundays I get to see my friends while we're all on work and school break.

I freaking want to get ANOTHER job offer on Tuesday!!! Pray for me! =)

Now..

I'm running out of words to say..

But hey, I'M BACK... for good! ☺♥

XXO, me!

Nang Nakilala Ko Ang Nanay Mo Hindi Na Ako Masaya

I found this really meaningful and very, very sweet! Nice work Jack! Proud that I was once a part of your great talent! =)


Masungit – ang una kong puna sa kanya
na nakapamewang nang madatnan natin sa may entrada.
Nakakunot ang noo at nakatulis ang mga labi,
tila lalamunin ako sa susunod pang mga sandali.
Lumapit ka, at humalik, kasabay ang pagbulong niya ng matinis.
Sino ang lalaking iyan, ang pagsambit niya nang kaybilis.
Tumugon naman ako sa tanong na hindi para sa akin.
Nobyo niya po, ang aking buong pagmamalaki.
Mahal mo ba ang dalaga ko, ang patuloy niyang pag-uusisa.
Natigilan naman ako at napasagot lamang ng ohong malamya.
Hindi ako kumbinsido, ang bulalas ng inang naninigurado.
Ikaw ay sumabat, tama na po Ma, mahal ko ang aking nobyo.

Mapagmahal – ang ipinamalas niya sa akin
na nakapamewang pa rin nang ako ay papaalis.
Nakakunot ang noo ngunit sa labi ay may ngiti,
na tila nagbibilin na ang dalaga niya ay huwag paiiyakin.

Nang nakilala ko ang nanay mo
hindi na ako masayang saktan ka pa.

By: JACK MALABANA - http://damnselfyouaresostressed.wordpress.com

2011 and I clasp hands.

It was 10 years ago when almost everyone I knew back then actually started bickering about Y2K or the end of the world then came the next day and it all was... err, quiet and it seemed like all those who believed no aftermath would anymore occur actually swallowed what they all thought.

I was ten then and cared only for Polly pockets and choco-coated donuts.

Funny how nostalgic reminiscing can bring you to so many memories back and beyond and realize that whew, it's been a wonderful journey despite all the misbeliefs there are outside.

What is it that I can say about 2010 is that it's the year I realized I am more than just God's biggest fan and life's biggest lover. And I think some of my blogs could attest to that. =)

I love life despite the times everything seemed so tough that giving up on it is the wrongest decision I know could ever make.

I know some of the past year's drama would've been like any other year's but I'm going to save this year from lesser amount of those. I AM NOT THE PAST'S BIGGEST FAN NEITHER DO I LOVE DWELLING ON THEM. I wanna believe I have already reflected on some of them and I have only kept them all as precious memories.

Here's to love, and peace.
Here's to longer and healthier lives to us!

And to me, may I be ever more hopeful and ever loving and prayerful.

=)

December 2010. Few more days to 2011

2010 was good to me. And it still is as days pass by, even now.

Words really are not enough for me to explain or reiterate the many things 2010 has brought me. I only have one word: JOYFUL.

It's a joyful year. Through thick and thin, the Lord has been and always is faithful. When you become content with who you are and whatever it is you have, you consider yourself blessed, because you're an owner of something you know which can never be bought.

My life have had its ups and downs this year. Some I consider challenges which made me stronger and tougher, while many of them left me thanking God, honoring Him because He has never forsaken me. Ever.

I think I have given up a lot of things this year, too. But no regrets, because upon giving up one thing came another blessing, one after another. I know for a fact that there are certain things you can't bring with you your whole life. But there are a lot more which, when you least expect them, comes right in front of you. You just have to ask God for wisdom with which to choose... =)

Now it's December 24th of this wonderful year of 2010. Noche Buena with the whole family tonight. I'm looking forward to another year full of blessings and breakthroughs. Despite the down times this year has brought, I know for myself that there's just so much I am thankful for.

I am glad I am still alive.
I am happy that the people i truly love are still in my life right now.
I'm happy that a lot came, too. And that lot I also kept longer.
I pray and believe that the year 2011 will be more prosperous, blissful, blessed and a lot more joyful.

"We love Him because He first loved us." -1 John 4:19

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!
Praying for abundant blessings to come upon all your lives, not just this holiday season, but all the days of your lives.

xxo,
Love Ng =)

080410. PROVEN: When God takes something away, He prepares, molds, and gives something better.

It has been after many, many years that I, again, feared would lose something so valuable in my life.

What triggered the fear was the probability that it can be taken away from me anytime no matter how hard I try to keep it.

It was in my early years that I have come to understand and grasp the fact that everything I have is not mine but His; and that if He takes something away, there has got to be something good, better, and greater (BEST!) for me in the future.

I admit, I have lost so many things, even valuable people in the past. I will never forget the day Doni died. I had my heart broken to have lost a very good friend, a man of God. It was the first time I lost someone really close to my heart, and trust me, it isn't the greatest feeling in the world. When my Mom lost her car, her heart broke, and so did mine. It was one of her most priced possessions. My Mom loved driving to the point where she brought me to Splash Island without her license because I was in tantrums. I was a kid, then, so hardheaded haha! When we lost the house I lived in my entire life, the whole family had our hopes down.

Little did I know, we were to be blessed with a new house, which, not after a long time was finally called HOME.

I realized, every single thing taken away from us are merely physical things, plain structures, that if we didn't handle with care could really be taken away from us any minute. Our house can be taken away by fire, our car by almost anyone interested in it.

But there's one person powerful enough to take away anything when He wants to. And thats our God. But when he took away all of those from us, I trust that He was preparing something better. And yes He did, that was because I asked, and I received. <3>Uuuuuuy, give away na o! Hahaha!

After many years, I came across a line saying, "God wont give you something you cant endure."
And I said to myself, you should have known that all your life.

Then I reassessed myself and asked how faithful God is. I know He is and will always be. Then I asked myself again, "Now why are you in doubt? You should be confident that God has a pleasing and perfect will for you." That day was I only able to re-establish my faith and let God do the pruning all the more.

And it is true that patience has a sweet fruit.

I always put in mind that God does not work only during your down times; He works all the time, in all aspects, in every area of our lives.

If what you're asking for is still left hanging, and youre also left hanging, and you feel like God didnt really hear or answer what you've prayed/asked for, you might wanna think again. Because God hears every single thing every single person asks for. It's like he has one ear for each individual in this world. Isn't He great? =)

And yes, sabi ko nga, Patience has a sweet fruit.

If you have something very valuable in your hands right now, handle it with care. Love it with all your heart, and love genuinely. Love because you love, even though sometimes you cannot be loved in return.

In my case, I almost lost something. I know every day, I am on the battlefield. And I have my own battles. While some battles I know are not meant to be won, some are worth fighting for. But as I said in my wall post days ago, I am just glad I did. =)

But I am fully aware that if I try to keep something, there will be constant hurtings, too. Why? Because God could always test me, it will always be a test of faith. A test of character. And I think CHANGE ISNT THE ONLY THING CONSTANT, HURT WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT ALSO. Because everything we have in our hands is God's, not ours. He can take it all away whenever He wants. And we would get hurt. I know I will. But I know I have a God who is willing to pick me up and cuddle me if I get hurt. And I will always be a precious baby to Him.

Oh, how amazing it is to live everyday knowing you have an awesome Father to praise!

If you have the willingness to keep something you really want and love, you'll fight for it whatever the cost.

And it says in

1 Corinthians 13:13
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Have faith! That every time you lose something that you love and you feel like you can never get them back/have another thing as valuable and as precious again, God is just pruning you.

He will always give you whats best for you.

Just like what He did in my life.

If theres anything, God will give you the best. And if he already thinks thats wahst best for you, that He wont take away. =)

<3

I dont really like posting stuff such as these, but it was too true I couldnt just keep it as storage.

If ever a girl steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting her keep him....
Because no good man can ever be stolen unless he wants to....

MARVELING

God is so good.

He really works for the good of those who believe Him.

And every single day I just wanna marvel on how great He is in my life.

I will always remember how one mighty prayer changed everything.

I know one thing: I trust him all the more.

If He has done a magnificent transformation in my life today, He will do a mightier one tomorrow ;)

11 February 2010 post

Right now, right this very minute, this very second, the last thing I really wanna see...

... is your face.

I don't know why.

It sucks not having to tell anybody about you.

I don't care who gets to read this; whether they assume or not, I don't care. (Go ahead, assume all you want, he's not the same person y'all are thinking about. That's so 3 months ago. And that was too terrible to even remember.. thats but plain history now.)

It's just.. ugh, it feels nauseating.

020610: KUNDIMAN tralalalaaaa..

This song of Silent Sanctuary has been going on for hours now....

I am thoroughly blaming the person who told me about this one... One, it's not funny anymore. Two, this makes me go melodramatic. TOO melodramatic. And three, last but not the least, I feel good hearing the lyrics being sung.

Anyway....
I was inspired by D. Bonifacio's recent note about his brother's marriage. What he heard was true. I mean the part where he went on with "I heard many hearts were broken that day" That's hilarious! My mom saw the wedding coverage, and she ends up crying. I was kind of expecting the same thing to happen. I mean who wouldn't cry? I know I did! My mom just cries awfully lot than me. She loves wedding videos too much sometimes.

And because it's kinda off topic not to talk about the title I wrote up there, I just want to imagine about it playing while I'm walking towards my husband-to-be. TRALALALAAAA. ;p Not that it's baduy, it's cool you know! I mean, have you tried listening to the song??? Sa reception kaya? haha! ;) I don't know if I would still remember this song by the time God tells me to marry. Who knows? I might end up not marrying at all! Hahaha!

What in the world am I saying? (Thinking... asking myself what I just ate that made me think this way.. {Psh, weird)

UPDATE
It’s been days and I wanna believe that I think I’m doing great, but in the back of my mind I keep on thinking about that something which only two people know right now, I only told them both last night (you guys know who you are) and they know that it’s bothering me. To those who can’t follow, I know, I shouldn’t be writing something you wouldn’t be able understand, it’s a little something personal. AND YES, that part sads me. And NO, IT’S NOT ABOUT HEART MATTERS. Shoo! Haha! I know how some of you think. Don't give me that look, 'cause, engkkkk, you're wrong. Just please please include me in your prayers.

WHAT MORE?

I know it's been 2 months since New Year, and I haven't really literally thanked everyone face to face. Technically, I don't really get to greet a lot of people except my circle whom I'm really really close to. I don't usually do a great job in thanking one by one cause I end up forgetting other people so I am thanking everyone who's currently reading this, as a group, so I know I won't miss out on anyone. :-)

Oh and yeah, the reason why I let the song play on and on is really because I'm almost going to lose my mind. I couldn't find the thesis paper Greg just made few weeks ago. I must've had my handout mixed up but I know it's here somewhere. But if I don't find it... TIME WILL STILL BE RUNNING OUT AND I'D END UP AWAKE FOR 48 HOURS to work on our Conceptual Framework.

AND SO?

...and because I am the only person/girl/child? (ugh, when I say that I feel sucha baby), what I meant is I'm the only one around here who still goes to school around here, I wouldn't be able to blame anyone if I really lost those papers (like what I usually do when I lose something. Haha. So bad. But I have a point sometimes though LOL) because apparently I would be the only person who knows where I'd be able to find things, those were my stuff in the first place.

There's only one thing I'm sure of. That if I REALLY, LITERALLY, TECHNICALLY, 100%-ly lost that paper.. I AM IN BIG TROUBLE.

And since I'm already turning.. uhh.. a year older than my age NOW haha, in 6 month's time, I've kind of (and still trying) to live up to Mom's expectations about handling more responsibility here now more than ever and how it's taking it's toll on me sometimes. This is why I am praying badly for a sister, or maybe a brother. But that's really just impossible.

Or even a new pup just so Mom would have someone else to put her attention to.

To sum it all up..

What do you think of Kundiman? (Still have no idea? Why don't you try listening to it, download it, it's by Silent Sanctuary. If you don't have Limewire or Frostwire, or whatever browsers ever existing today, I'm sorry I only know 2 of them and yes I'm familiar that it's friends with different kind of viruses, try Youtube-ing or Imeem-ing hahaha!) I know someone who's so hooked up on it, he actually breathes 'em already hahaha! And to you, I don't need your comments and violent reactions right now. ;D SHOO! Haha!

Okay, irrelevant haha!

All i know is that tomorrow is going to be a busy day; I will try to be home by 2PM after the service, work on the conceptual framework again, live humbly, breathe normally, try not be too stressed out, avoid panicking, definitely avoid cramming, and because all of those mentioned a forehand feels worse, I will try to remember to forget...

P.S. The people I had tagged here may or may not know everything, some I know doesn't but I still tagged anyways. Just so you know, I'm still alive, (Hi there, yoohoo!) and that something interesting is still happening in my life as of this very moment. ;)

JUNE 2009: Mga hinanakit sa hangin

Paulit-ulit.

Ngunit wala ni isang bakas ng pagod sa aking mukha. Naniwalang sa buong apat na taon, nanatiling panatag ang kalooban; nakinig, nagparaya, nagmahal. Nakakabulag ang mundo kung saan nag-uumapaw ang tindi ng tiwala sa sarili.

Sumobra nga pala ako.

Naisip kong “maghintay pa nang kaunti” ngunit walang nangyari.

Maghintay pa “hangga’t maayos ang lahat." Wala ulit.

Maghintay “hangga’t kaya pa.”

Hanggang saan ako dadalhin ng paghihintay na maayos ang isang bagay na ako lang ang nagnais? Ako lang; tumakbo nang paikot-ikot sa landas na sabay naming nilalakad noon. At ngayon, kailangan ko nang tumakbo.

Hindi na kami patas.

“Minsan hindi kailangan ipangalandakan na malungkot at nahihirapan. Kasi kahit sabihin pa nang sabihin, pero wala namang ginagawang paraan para mapagaan, pinalalala mo lang.”

Siya ako noon. Sino na ako ngayon?

Ako. Marahan ko nang naitapon ang lahat ng hinanakit na yan sa hangin. Napunan ko na ng luha ang dagat. Nasigawan ko na ang mundo. Natingnan ko na ang sarili ko sa salamin at nakita ang malayo kong identitad sa taong nakagisnan kong maging; pinilit kong maging.

Hindi ako yon. At lalong hindi pala ako ganon.

Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal ay natututo sa huli. Minsan mas pinipili nilang uliting ang parehas na drama ng buhay. Ngunit hindi ako isa sa kanila. Ayoko na.

Alam kong balang araw, di ko na kailangang humabol pa at masaktan. Balang araw, may sasabay sakin sa paglalakad. At unti-unti naming sasabayan ang magandang takbo ng buhay.

:’)